


Never Have I Ever...

by Ozymanreis



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [29]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: But mostly fluff, Drink, Drunken deductions, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Never Have I Ever..., Sheriarty - Freeform, Virgin!Sherlock, drinking game, drunk!lock, slight mention of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 04:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1805119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ozymanreis/pseuds/Ozymanreis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"... been in love with a consulting criminal."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Have I Ever...

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #78: Drink

"Umm… I've never been a consulting criminal." Sherlock slurs a bit, losing the drinking game by a considerable amount — as it turned out, there had been many things he and Jim had done in common, but very little in the way of detective work that Jim had actually experienced. 

They had decided on a quiet night in at 221B, which was usually attainable. Jim would drum up some chaos outside so they'd have something amusing to watch on the telly, Sherlock might blow up half the kitchen, but it was all very reserved. Peaceful. 

But tonight, Jim had brought a few bottles of whiskey. Mayhem ensued. 

"Oh, Sherly, that's pathetic." Jim scolds, but takes a shot of the nearly-empty bottle of whiskey anyway, "For that… I've never been a _consulting_ _detective_."

Sherlock rolls his eyes and takes the shot, "I've never attempted suicide."

James makes a sour face, but drinks anyway, "I've never been to rehab."

It's a cheap hit, but there was a strong correlation between the cleverness of their statements and the amount of alcohol consumed. When they were both sober, the game "Never Have I Ever" was about confirmation, rather than getting the other to drink. 

They'd begin with small deductions, "Never have I ever carried out a murder in the past twenty-four hours"; "Never have I ever forgotten to eat all day," and would quickly get to things like, "Never have I ever secretly been envious of my brother"; "Never have I ever secretly wanted to give up the criminal life for a simple one"; "Never have I ever wanted to ' _fit in_ ' with the ordinaries"; "Never have I ever been afraid of dying alone." 

But after drink number six, it degraded into, "I never…" and "deductions" they already knew about each other out of petty vindictiveness. 

The current score: Sherlock: twelve, Jim: nine. Allegedly, you're supposed to lose after ten, but winning stopped being the point long ago. 

"Well… _I've_ never been to Mexico." Sherlock snipes as he takes his next drink.

Drink. "I've never had a blog. Or a website, for that matter."

Drink. "I… I've never written a _book_."

Drink. "I've never accidentally poisoned _myself_."

Drink. "Mmm've never purchased milk."

Drink. Then James gets a diabolical look in his glazed-over eyes, "I've never had sexual relations with a _woman_."

At this, Sherlock grins, not bringing the glass to his lips. Moriarty guffaws, " _Really_? I thought maybe at least _once_!" 

" _Nope_! My turn." Sherlock gets the same evil glint, "I've never had 'sexual relations' with a _man_." Using actual air quotes, he looks quite pleased with himself as James begrudgingly takes a shot, " _Virgin_."

"Occasionally, it's useful."

"Oh yeah? When?"

"Just now, for instance." Sherlock hiccups. 

James grimaces, "I've never been an utter _ponce_." 

Again, Sherlock doesn't drink, now snickering. 

"Oh come _on_!"

"It doesn't count if you're _lying_." Sherlock sticks his tongue. 

" _Fine_." Jim groans, but the light hadn't left his eyes, as if he still had a trick up his sleeve. That, in fact, he did, "Never have I ever… been in love with a consulting criminal." 

At this, Sherlock took a very slow, deliberate drink, finishing the bottle, "Does this mean I win or lose?" 

"Honey," Jim gets up, a bit wobbly. Sherlock joins him and the fall together on the couch, drunkenly giggling, "We _both_ win."

 


End file.
